Scuba's Diary - August 11, 2008Weekly update on Toby's River Toad addiction. It seems that Toby is suffering from post-traumatic stress as a result of the unprovoked attack by the gopher snake and is turning to River Toads to deal with it. We found him behind the rock wall in the back yard with a couple of empty River Toads lying nearby. He said he was hiding from gopher snakes and wouldn't come out until they were all gone. Enough is enough, I called The River Toad Hotline (1-800-NOMORETOADS). The CANINE COUNSELOR (CC for short) on the line said we just need to be supportive of Toby and try to get him involved in a hobby to take his mind off the gopher snake and the River Toads. I mentioned Toby's project of 'OPERATION PEE ON HUGO' and was told that was an excellent hobby to keep him busy. The CC even volunteered to send in his best pee photo to help support the project.
HIDING FROM GOPHER SNAKES
Toby's Diary, August 10, 2008.The article written by Hugo Rifkind which questions the intelligence of dogs has really ticked me off. I know, I know, I shouldn't let the ignorant rant of a stupid human get to me but it does. I've been checking the rates from FedEx and I've found that it wouldn't cost much to send Hugo a gift. Scuba has been trying to talk me out of it saying that Karma will get Hugo in the end. I don't know much about Karma, but I'd like to get Hugo in the end and chomp a bit. If any of you leg-lifters out there want to send in your best leg-lifting photo, we can send it to Hugo. I'm gonna call it 'Operation Pee On Hugo' and we'll just let this human know how we really feel.
Norman here, it was yet another exciting day at Life Inside The Fence, at least for us dogs. We had another crawly critter show up, a gopher snake with an attitude. Now normally we try to avoid crawly critters simply because of the one called Western Diamondback Rattlesnake, which is extremely venomous. But this gopher snake was freakin nuts. He nailed Toby on his rear left paw as Toby (believe it or not) was minding his own business sending Mom into hysterics and she ran screaming across the yard toward Toby totally convince that a rattler had gotten him. I’m not sure whether Toby was more freaked out by the snake or by Mom’s shrieking. Anyway, Toby tucked tail and bolted, hiding under the porch steps leaving me, Scuba and Keiko trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Finally Mom realized that it was a gopher snake and calmed down, but that was of little consolation to Toby who was quite content to remain beneath the steps thus avoiding both the crazy snake and crazy Mom.
Now this snake just didn’t want to leave. Mom’s pretty good at hooking them with the hoe and walking them down the road a bit but the snake just started acting all crazy, coiling and hissing, even striking at Mom (don’t worry, she’s smart enough not to get that close, I think). Eventually the snake did go under the house so we expect to see it again sometime soon. For more information on Gopher Snakes and how they benefit the environment, please visit the Desert USA web site.
TOBY SHOWS HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR HUGOHugo Rifkind, an idiot journalist for Times Online out of the UK has written an article with the title 'Just exactly how stupid are dogs?' Now this dog hater, who has obviously never spent any time with a dog, goes on to try and explain why dogs are stupid only to show his own ignorance with ever word. Dogs have saved countless lives, working as guide dogs, rescue dogs, sled dogs and cancer detecting dogs. On September 11, 2001, rescue dogs spent many hours at Ground Zero looking for survivors. And the list goes on and on. Dogs show more compassion and love than any human I know and would die to protect us (even Mr. Rifkind, sad to say) For such a educated human, Mr. Rifkind has really shown us who the stupid one really is. Please visit Hugo Rifkind and let him know that dogs are not the stupid ones and that his article is really out of line.
HIDING FROM GOPHER SNAKES
