THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE FIVE

Woof, everypups. Well, I've recovered from Ron and Tillman being so mercilessly tossed through the doggie door. Last night's show was a good one. I liked the Dog Bone Challenge which featured a mud pit beneath a balance beam the dogs had to cross, with the winner receiving letters and photos from home. Teresa and Leroy won but then gave first place to Bill and Star. It was very emotional for Bill reading his wife's letter and seeing the photos of his family. Star was a little more composed, she was just happy to be there. The last challenge was a dance competition where the teams had to coordinate a dance routine to different types of music. Laurie and Andrew were chosen as Best in Show with Brandy and Beacon being shown the doggie door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR

Yeah, I really enjoyed the show and I was glad that Teresa gave first place to Bill and Star. Bill seems like such a nice man and he treats Star really well. As far as the dance competition, I thought it was kind of cheesy and it was obvious that JD thought he and Galaxy should have won. He just gave Laurie a dirty look when she and Andrew were named Best in Show. But at least Brandy was booted off. I really feel sorry for Beacon having to put up with that screeching all of the time.

KEIKO'S PICK - BILL AND STAR

Perhaps we should organize a rescue mission and save poor Beacon. Anyway, I like the show but JD is really starting to really tick me off. When Galaxy fell off the beam into the mud JD didn't even look at him or pet him or anything. JD was so mad at his dog. That's just not right. Galaxy did the best he could, maybe we should rescue him as well. And the dance competition, well, someone should tell the shows creators that we're dogs, not Fred Astaire. I felt so sorry for Presley in his routine with Travis. Presley just gave Travis a 'I'm not gonna make a fool of myself for you or anybody' look and didn't really participate in the routine. But they're still my picks, I just hope the competition gets back to doing real dog stuff instead of this foo-foo poop they've been doing.

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

I agree with you, Norman. JD is turning into a dog's behind. He seems to think that he and Galaxy should be given first place in every event and that he is such a great dog trainer. Well, a great dog trainer wouldn't get mad at his dog when his dog gave a great effort. I really hope JD gets the boot next week. Anyway, the dance competition was just ridiculous, Norman's right, just let them be dogs. But at least Brandy was shown the doggie door. Poor Beacon, we really need to go save him. He doesn't listen to Brandy because he's deaf from all of that screaming that Brandy does. Let's see, does Toby have anything to add?

DUKE'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN
DUKE'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Yeah, the dance competition was really stupid and the judges are doggie behinds. For those pups out there who are interested, I'll be organizing a rescue mission to save Beacon from the evil witch Brandy and while we're at it, we might as well rescue Kenji, Ezzie and Galaxy too. And since I'm still boycotting the show, I'm not picking a winner cause the whole show is rigged.