PRESLEY IS THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG

Woof everypups, Norman here. I'm flying solo today for the final recap of The Greatest American Dog because Toby's Birthday Bash is still in full swing and our neighbor Duke just arrived with a case of homemade wine and a box of doggie biscuits. Anyway, my boys Travis and Presley won the competition and Presley was named The Greatest American Dog. JD and Galaxy were shown the Doggie Door early in the show which left Travis and Presley and Laurie and Andrew. Of course JD had to be an arrogant doggies behind about being sent packing. You'd think that JD would develop a little respect for the other dogs and humans in the show but that didn't happen. He still thinks he's the greatest thing since the squeaky toy. Oh well, we don't have to put up with him anymore.
The last challenge was a obstacle course which Presley just ripped through with no problem only to find that the 9000 pound elephant was waiting at the end and hovering over Presley's favorite toy. To complete the course Presley had to retrieve his toy but hesitated (can't blame him for that). Travis went under the elephant and guided Presley to his toy. Little dog Andrew completed the obstacle course but had a problem with the tilting balance beam. But he managed to finish the course and had no fear of the elephant and snatched his toy with no problem. The judges debated long and hard over who should be named The Greatest American Dog and in the end, it was Presley. The judges felt that Travis and Presley had come into the competition as the least experienced of the competitors, but they improved with each passing week and the bond between them only became stronger. Another plus for Travis and Presley was the fact that Travis had stepped beneath the elephant to lead Presley to his toy. It was that act that showed the judges that Travis wouldn't ask his dog to do something that he wasn't willing to do himself. Presley became more disciplined as the show progressed and Travis never once used harsh or questionable training tactics with Presley as did several of the other human competitors. The love and devotion that the pair show toward each other really represents what having a dog is all about. It's not about the perfect dog or the best trained dog (you won't find any in this house), it's about loyalty, trust and most of all love. So congratulations to Presley for being The Greatest American Dog.

PEE ESS
Toby's Birthday Bash is going to continue for awhile so if any pups out there want to stop by, just hop into the transporter and beam over (hell, it works on Star Trek). We'll be watching for you.

THE DOG WHISPERER

AFTER YEARS OF OBSERVING DOGS IN THE WILD, CESAR FINALLY DISCOVERED THEIR SECRET

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE NINE

Woof, everypups. Only one more episode to go as The Greatest American Dog will be chosen next week. The theme for last night's show was loyalty. During the Dog Bone Challenge, the dogs had to sit or stand on a tree stump opposite their humans who were also standing tree stumps. The dogs had to remain in either the sit or stand position but couldn't lie down or leave the stump. It came down to Travis and Presley and Teresa and Leroy. After 17 minutes of watching Presley, who was in obvious discomfort, Travis called him down from the stump, handing the victory to Teresa. Kudos to Travis for putting his dog first. With the next challenge the contestants took turns trying to tempt the dog to come to them instead of listening to their humans and staying in the designated area. Laurie and Andrew received Best In Show as Andrew didn't even glance at the other humans. Presley was the only dog who left the designated area but quickly returned to Travis. After much debate the judges decided that Teresa used fear tactics to frighten Leroy into submission and they were shown the Doggie Door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR
SCUBA'S THIRD PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Holy Puppy Poop!!! Can this show get anymore ridiculous? Testing loyalty with tree stumps? What the hell is that about? And scolding Teresa for her alleged fear tactics with Leroy, now that's a bit much. If those judges want to see fear tactics, they should see Mom react after we've dragged a dead jackrabbit into the house through the doggie door. And what's with the condemning looks from Miss Priss Victoria? She was shooting laser beams from her evil eyes last night. Now I'm not much of a JD fan but I'm glad he snapped back at Miss Priss when she accused him of terrorizing Galaxy. I'd hate to think what she'd say if she came to our house. Mom's always yelling at us, 'Get out of the garbage', Get off of the kitchen table', 'Get the neighbor's cat out of your mouth', and so on. I'm not sure what kind of world Miss Priss lives in but it ain't a dog's world.

KEIKO'S FIRST PICK - BILL AND STAR
KEIKO'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Amen to that, Keiko, there is something wrong with that woman. And that whole tree stump thing, well that was just stupid. I wouldn't have sat there for very long but am I loyal to Mom? You bet your best chew bone I am, as are all of us. And we've proven it over the years. And as far as Laurie and Andrew winning the last challenge, that dog just ain't right somehow. Did you pups see him last night when he was place with the other humans? He just kept running to the door and staring at it waiting for Laurie, that's some serious separation anxiety going on there. It just creeped me out. Now we all get excited when Mom comes home but we don't sit and stare at the door all day. If we did that we would get any of our dog stuff done, you know, digging, chewing, drooling.....

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Separation anxiety my ass, that dog has some deep, emotional problems. He won the challenge because he's been brainwashed by Laurie into thinking that she's LORD OF THE DOGS. But the judges didn't see how he acted earlier so of course they applauded Laurie. It's kind of like the Stockholm Syndrome, which the captive shows loyalty to his captor. Andrew didn't even blink, just kept staring at Laurie. That's not normal dog behavior, maybe he's a space alien or something, but he ain't a real dog.

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE EIGHT

Woof, everypups. Last night's show was pretty good with the exception of Bill and Star being shown the Doggie Door. The theme of the show was courage and let me tell you, those were some brave pups. The Dog Bone Challenge was simple, the dog had to sit still while an African Elephant approached. It came down to a tiebreak between Laurie and Andrew and Travis and Presley. This time the trainer had the Elephant charge toward our fearless pups. Andrew won the Challenge which is pretty cool cause he's the smallest pup out there. The next Challenge was Stunt Dog and with both the dog and human wearing safety harnesses, the humans had to coax the dogs up an incline to a catwalk that was thirty feet off the ground. Then, after the humans took the zip line back down they had to try and convince their dog to take a thirty foot leap of faith and ride the zip line to the ground. JD and Galaxy won the challenge but at a cost as Galaxy could hardly walk afterwards due to a muscle strain. Anyway, Bill couldn't coax Star into leaping off the thirty foot tower so they were shown the Doggie Door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR ARE GONE
SCUBA'S THIRD PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


Holy Puppy Poop!!! I just can't believe what they did to those poor pups last night. An Elephant? You've gotta be kidding me! Andrew won the competition by not moving, well he was frozen in fear! Of course he's not going to move. I would have tucked tail so fast and bolted out of there. There's just some things that ain't natural and a 4 and 1/2 ton pachyderm coming at you is one of them. And the Stunt Dog Challenge, well, I think that was a bit much for those brave dogs. I don't think that JD pushed Galaxy too hard, she's a dog and loves to play, but something happened to her during that challenge. And as far as Star not leaping off the tower, I think that's good doggie sense, not fear. Jumping off of a thirty foot platform isn't a natural dog behavior. But once again, Miss-Priss Victoria was all over Bill. Last week, she jumped on him for pushing his dog too hard, this week, she complained that he didn't push Star hard enough. That woman just ain't right. But Bill and Star will be missed.

KEIKO'S FIRST PICK - BILL AND STAR
KEIKO'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


Agree with you there, Keiko. That woman is just a freak. Poor Bill, he never had a chance. Once that evil Victoria dug her claws in, Bill and Star were doomed. I don't know what Bill ever did to set her off but she definitely had it in for him, that's for sure. And that thirty foot leap? Oh, hell no! Ain't happening to this dog! Call me a scaredy dog all you want, I ain't jumping off anything except the couch (or the kitchen table when Mom ain't looking). And we're not even gonna talk about that Elephant thing. I think I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks. Anyway, even though Bill and Star weren't my picks, I was sad to see them go. Bill is such a gentle man and it's obvious that he loves Star very much.

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

I'll say it again, the show is rigged and the judges suck!!! It's all geared toward crowning JD and Galaxy the champs. Now I don't have a problem with leaping off a thirty foot platform and as far as that Elephant is concern, bring it on, I ain't afraid of no stinkin Elephant. But when the judges criticized Bill for leading Star up the easier route during the Stunt Dog Challenge, it only confirmed that the show is rigged. The first priority of a dog owner is the well being of their dog. Regardless of what those so called professional judges had to say, I thought Bill did the right thing. And while JD and Galaxy won the Stunt Dog Challenge, it took its toll on Galaxy as she was limping badly afterwards. She's not a young pup anymore and age should have been considered when designing this challenge. But it's all for the ratings, the more controversial it is the better the ratings. And as always, the judges are Doggie's Behinds.

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE SEVEN

Woof, everypups. I really have to say that last night's show was the worst I've seen, with the two lady judges screaming at each other over JD being the best part of the show. The Dog Bone Challenge was really lame. The teams were paired together and while one human was hidden in a wooden box the other human had to get one dog to ring a bell and then lead the remaining dog up the steps to the top of the wooden box. There the dog would dig until a lever was released, thus opening the door to the box. Travis and Presley teamed with Bill and Star, winning the challenge. The last challenge was a maze in which the dog had to work their way to the end with only their owner's voice to guide them. With one catch, there were three puppies that were also in the maze and they had to follow the dog out of the maze. Now I know everyone loves puppies but I think it was very irresponsible to introduce strange pups into the show. Many older dogs just don't appreciate that puppy energy and tend to get a little cranky which was obvious with Star as she did whatever she could to stay away from the puppies. Teresa and Leroy were picked Best in Show and Beth Joy and Bella Starlet were shown the Doggie Door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR


I have to agree with you about the puppies,Scuba. That was just a bad idea. Sure Presley loved the pups but he's still a young dog. Some older dogs just don't like pups, not to mention the puppies were bigger than Andrew and Bella Starlet, no wonder they were freaked out. And after listening to those judges jump all over Bill for his aggressive treatment of Star, I'm beginning to think that Toby is right, the show is rigged and the judges just don't know what the hell is going on. I didn't see any thing wrong with the way Bill treated Star except making her run the maze. If he didn't make her run the maze then the judges would have been all over him for not challenging his dog. The judges stink like puppy poop and are doggies behinds.

KEIKO'S PICK - BILL AND STAR

Amen to that!!! Those judges are just getting worse with every show, though their little 'cat fight' was very entertaining. And about the puppies, it was just a bad idea. I considered myself to be somewhat of a young dog and I wouldn't want three rambunctious pups crawling all over me. It was a poor choice and whoever made it is a doggies behind. But I do have to say that Teresa and Leroy just ripped through that maze and beat out JD and Galaxy. Great job!!!

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Well, I hate to sound like a broken record but I agree with everyone's take on PuppyGate. It was just a stupid idea to include the pups in the maze challenge. A couple of the older dogs actually snapped at the pups and though no pup was hurt, things could have gotten out of control. I do admit that the fight between the judges was the best part of the show, though I'm not really sure what the hell they were fighting about.

DUKE'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
DUKE'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


I've been saying it, the show is rigged and the judges suck!!! Really, jumping on Bill like that, poor guy. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't and he knew it. On one hand the judges want you to challenge your dog but just don't do it if Miss Victoria is having a bad hair day. And as far as that little spat between the two lady judges, that was fixed to drive the ratings up.

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE SIX

Hey everypups. Well, last night's show was OK. Nothing really spectacular. I really enjoyed the Dog Bone Challenge, though. Any challenge with food has got my vote. A barrier was set up to separate the dog from the food and the dog was timed on how fast he or she took to figure out how to reach the food. Bill and Star won the challenge with a smoking 8.3 seconds, now that's a dog that likes her chicken. But in return for Teresa and Leroy giving up first place to Bill and Star last week, Bill did the same and gave them the Dog Bone Suite. The next challenge was absolutely ridiculous and I can't wait to hear what Toby has to say about it. The challenge was art. The dogs had to paint a picture. Now it did look like fun rolling around in the paint, but come on, Rembrandt we ain't. Teresa and Leroy were top dogs and Laura and Preston were shown the Doggie Door. And if I didn't already dislike JD, I really do now. He is such a doggie's behind. Did you pups hear him when he said that he believes all of the other dog owners wished their dogs were just like his dog? What a pompous ass!!! JD really needs to go.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR


Well, I will agree with you about JD. Holy puppy poop!!! Just who does this jerk think he is? God's gift to dogs? I don't think so. Did you see him after he was picked as one of the bottom three at the art challenge? Poor Galaxy, just wanted to lick JD's face and offer a little support but JD scolded her. That's just not right. I was really hoping that he would be sent packing but after listening to Laura rat out Beth Joy and Bella Starlett, I was glad she was shown the Doggie Door. Just because her painting was the worst and she knew it, she decided to try and take out Beth Joy and portray her as an abusive owner. Bella Starlett did cry a bit when she had to wear the sponges on her paws but you should hear Norman whine when Mom trims his nails. Some dogs just don't like to have their little paws touched. Anyway, my pick of Bill and Star are still in it and as always Bill was a perfect gentlemen and Star, zipping through the Dog Bone Challenge the way she did was just pawsome.

KEIKO'S PICK - BILL AND STAR

GRRRR!!! First of all, Keiko, I don't whine. Second, I don't have little paws. Anyway, I agree with you about JD. Something's wrong with that boy. He seems to think that he's some bigtime dog trainer and walks around with his snout in the air. Nothing against Galaxy, I think that she's a pawsome dog, but JD really sucks. And I really don't know what the deal was with Laura ratting out Beth Joy. I know it's a competition but you gotta play fair and that was as bad as Laurie snitching out David and Elvis. But Travis shocked everyone and stood up for Beth Joy. I don't reckon he's gonna get Laura's phone number now, huh? And speaking of Travis, he and my boy Presley are still in it and are doing pretty good.

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

I guess we're all in agreement that JD is a doggie's behind. Someone should put him in his place. He came into this thing totally convince he was the next best thing to bacon. Well, he might be able to teach Galaxy lots of tricks but that is because she's a smart dog, not because he such a great trainer. JD is probably as bad as that Dog Whisperer Jerk, Cesar what's his butt. Anyway, the Dog Bone Challenge was great. I agree with Scuba, any challenge with food is always good. Travis and Presley did really well but Bill and Star were just too much to handle. You've got to hand it to Star, for such a mild-mannered pup, she's been tearing up the place. But I'll have to still go with my second pick of Travis and Presley. There's just a really pawsome bond between those two.

DUKE'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
DUKE'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


What the hell is going on in the world today? I mean really, dogs painting? You're kidding right? That's not art. You want to see art? Just come over to the house and I can show you a backyard full of carefully dug holes spread out in a wonderful southwestern design which focuses on the natural beauty of the desert. Now that's art. Anyway, I'm still thinking that the show is rigged and the judges are still doggie's behinds. They'll probably give the trophy to JD the jerk. And you're right Duke, JD does remind me of the Dog Whisperer Jerk, Cesar what's his butt. As soon as OPERATION PEE ON HUGO is over, we'll have to put together OPERATION PEE ON JD THE JERK and give him the three legged salute.

GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE FOUR

Freakin unbelievable. They booted off Ron and Tillman. Has the world gone mad? What’s wrong with those judges? Last night’s show started out pretty good with the humans having to predict whether their dog would pick up or leave certain items during the Dog Bone challenge. JD and Galaxy won the challenge and sent Travis and Presley to the doghouse. After that the show went straight to Hades. I guess I’m gonna have to pull for Bill and Star now.
SCUBA’S SECOND PICK – BILL AND STAR

You’ll have to forgive Scuba, she’s a little emotional about her pick of Ron and Tillman being shown the doggie door and I have to agree with her. The final challenge was a photo shoot based on the dog’s personality with one catch. The personalities were pre-selected and the humans had to draw out of a bowl for their dog’s personality, which makes no sense whatsoever. Ron and Tillman picked the lazy personality and that’s what they did but the judges hated the photo. Said it was the worst photo of a bulldog they had ever seen. But at least Bill and Star are still in it.
KEIKO’S PICK – BILL AND STAR

And what about Teresa, she picked the personality of anger and used the snarl band around Leroy’s snout to get him to snarl? Did you pups see that? Or what about her tormenting him to make him angry? Then she gets mad when he bites her. On top of that, the judges reamed her for using the snarl band saying it was inhumane and cruel (which it is) but then turn around and boot off Ron and Tillman. Not making a lot of sense. But I do agree that JD and Galaxy’s photo of a sneaky personality was pretty cool. And my boys Travis and Presley are still in it, sorry Scuba.
NORMAN’S PICK – TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Just filling in while Toby throws his tantrum, though I think Scuba may be right behind him. I’m in agreement with you pups that the judges just ain’t right in the head. And I’m really sorry to see Ron and Tillman leave; I was pulling for that big-headed dog. I guess now I go for Travis and Presley. Wait a minute, I think Toby wants to say something.

DUKE’S PICK – TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

GRRRR!!!!

BUSTED!!!!

SANDWICH? WHAT SANDWICH?