CRAZY DOGS RUNNING

TENNESSEE FOOTBALL DOGS

SMOKEY AND KEIKO ARE WOOFING GOOD LUCK TO THE TENNESSEE VOLUNTEER FOOTBALL TEAM AS THEY FACE THE UCLA BRUINS THIS LABOR DAY WEEKEND.

GO VOLS!!!

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE EIGHT

Woof, everypups. Last night's show was pretty good with the exception of Bill and Star being shown the Doggie Door. The theme of the show was courage and let me tell you, those were some brave pups. The Dog Bone Challenge was simple, the dog had to sit still while an African Elephant approached. It came down to a tiebreak between Laurie and Andrew and Travis and Presley. This time the trainer had the Elephant charge toward our fearless pups. Andrew won the Challenge which is pretty cool cause he's the smallest pup out there. The next Challenge was Stunt Dog and with both the dog and human wearing safety harnesses, the humans had to coax the dogs up an incline to a catwalk that was thirty feet off the ground. Then, after the humans took the zip line back down they had to try and convince their dog to take a thirty foot leap of faith and ride the zip line to the ground. JD and Galaxy won the challenge but at a cost as Galaxy could hardly walk afterwards due to a muscle strain. Anyway, Bill couldn't coax Star into leaping off the thirty foot tower so they were shown the Doggie Door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR ARE GONE
SCUBA'S THIRD PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


Holy Puppy Poop!!! I just can't believe what they did to those poor pups last night. An Elephant? You've gotta be kidding me! Andrew won the competition by not moving, well he was frozen in fear! Of course he's not going to move. I would have tucked tail so fast and bolted out of there. There's just some things that ain't natural and a 4 and 1/2 ton pachyderm coming at you is one of them. And the Stunt Dog Challenge, well, I think that was a bit much for those brave dogs. I don't think that JD pushed Galaxy too hard, she's a dog and loves to play, but something happened to her during that challenge. And as far as Star not leaping off the tower, I think that's good doggie sense, not fear. Jumping off of a thirty foot platform isn't a natural dog behavior. But once again, Miss-Priss Victoria was all over Bill. Last week, she jumped on him for pushing his dog too hard, this week, she complained that he didn't push Star hard enough. That woman just ain't right. But Bill and Star will be missed.

KEIKO'S FIRST PICK - BILL AND STAR
KEIKO'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


Agree with you there, Keiko. That woman is just a freak. Poor Bill, he never had a chance. Once that evil Victoria dug her claws in, Bill and Star were doomed. I don't know what Bill ever did to set her off but she definitely had it in for him, that's for sure. And that thirty foot leap? Oh, hell no! Ain't happening to this dog! Call me a scaredy dog all you want, I ain't jumping off anything except the couch (or the kitchen table when Mom ain't looking). And we're not even gonna talk about that Elephant thing. I think I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks. Anyway, even though Bill and Star weren't my picks, I was sad to see them go. Bill is such a gentle man and it's obvious that he loves Star very much.

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

I'll say it again, the show is rigged and the judges suck!!! It's all geared toward crowning JD and Galaxy the champs. Now I don't have a problem with leaping off a thirty foot platform and as far as that Elephant is concern, bring it on, I ain't afraid of no stinkin Elephant. But when the judges criticized Bill for leading Star up the easier route during the Stunt Dog Challenge, it only confirmed that the show is rigged. The first priority of a dog owner is the well being of their dog. Regardless of what those so called professional judges had to say, I thought Bill did the right thing. And while JD and Galaxy won the Stunt Dog Challenge, it took its toll on Galaxy as she was limping badly afterwards. She's not a young pup anymore and age should have been considered when designing this challenge. But it's all for the ratings, the more controversial it is the better the ratings. And as always, the judges are Doggie's Behinds.

TENNESSEE NORMAN

OH MY DOG, I HATE IT WHEN SHE DOES THIS TO ME. DO I LOOK AS DORKY AS I FEEL?

HELLDOG

LOST BONE

WHERE DID I BURY THAT BONE?

ONE HAPPY DOG

OLD LEATHER RECLINER + CHEAP BEER = ONE HAPPY DOG

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE SEVEN

Woof, everypups. I really have to say that last night's show was the worst I've seen, with the two lady judges screaming at each other over JD being the best part of the show. The Dog Bone Challenge was really lame. The teams were paired together and while one human was hidden in a wooden box the other human had to get one dog to ring a bell and then lead the remaining dog up the steps to the top of the wooden box. There the dog would dig until a lever was released, thus opening the door to the box. Travis and Presley teamed with Bill and Star, winning the challenge. The last challenge was a maze in which the dog had to work their way to the end with only their owner's voice to guide them. With one catch, there were three puppies that were also in the maze and they had to follow the dog out of the maze. Now I know everyone loves puppies but I think it was very irresponsible to introduce strange pups into the show. Many older dogs just don't appreciate that puppy energy and tend to get a little cranky which was obvious with Star as she did whatever she could to stay away from the puppies. Teresa and Leroy were picked Best in Show and Beth Joy and Bella Starlet were shown the Doggie Door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR


I have to agree with you about the puppies,Scuba. That was just a bad idea. Sure Presley loved the pups but he's still a young dog. Some older dogs just don't like pups, not to mention the puppies were bigger than Andrew and Bella Starlet, no wonder they were freaked out. And after listening to those judges jump all over Bill for his aggressive treatment of Star, I'm beginning to think that Toby is right, the show is rigged and the judges just don't know what the hell is going on. I didn't see any thing wrong with the way Bill treated Star except making her run the maze. If he didn't make her run the maze then the judges would have been all over him for not challenging his dog. The judges stink like puppy poop and are doggies behinds.

KEIKO'S PICK - BILL AND STAR

Amen to that!!! Those judges are just getting worse with every show, though their little 'cat fight' was very entertaining. And about the puppies, it was just a bad idea. I considered myself to be somewhat of a young dog and I wouldn't want three rambunctious pups crawling all over me. It was a poor choice and whoever made it is a doggies behind. But I do have to say that Teresa and Leroy just ripped through that maze and beat out JD and Galaxy. Great job!!!

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Well, I hate to sound like a broken record but I agree with everyone's take on PuppyGate. It was just a stupid idea to include the pups in the maze challenge. A couple of the older dogs actually snapped at the pups and though no pup was hurt, things could have gotten out of control. I do admit that the fight between the judges was the best part of the show, though I'm not really sure what the hell they were fighting about.

DUKE'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
DUKE'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


I've been saying it, the show is rigged and the judges suck!!! Really, jumping on Bill like that, poor guy. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't and he knew it. On one hand the judges want you to challenge your dog but just don't do it if Miss Victoria is having a bad hair day. And as far as that little spat between the two lady judges, that was fixed to drive the ratings up.

OPERATION PEE ON HUGO

THIS VIDEO WAS ALSO FORWARDED TO HUGO, SO WE HOPE HE ENJOYS IT. AND WE HOPE ALL THE PUPS OUT THERE WILL CRANK UP THE VOLUME, GRAB A BISCUIT AND ENJOY 'OPERATION PEE ON HUGO'.

GROUNDED

Freakin unbelievable!!! Mom grounded us again and this time it wasn't even our fault. So now we're not allowed in the back yard until Mom says so. Just because of a little baby rattlesnake. He was just a little guy and actually looked kind of cute. But does Mom let us play with him? Nooooo, she freaks out again and starts screaming for us dogs to get in the house. That woman screams about everything. She was shrieking something about just because it's a baby doesn't mean it's not venomous. Well, duh!!! Like we already knew that, Mom. So now we have to wait until Mom clears out some of shrubs in the back. This really sucks!!! Anyway, for a closer look click on the image.

CHECK OUT HIS TAIL, ATTACHED TO THE BLACK AND WHITE BANDS IS ONLY ONE SEGMENT OF A RATTLE. WESTERN DIAMONDBACK BABIES ARE BORN WITH ONLY ONE SEGMENT, SO THIS GUY WAS A YOUNG ONE.

OUTLAW TOBY

The infamous Toby the Pup. His reign of terror on the western plains lasted for nearly a decade and ended abruptly after he was shot down by Sheriff Cat Garrett, who had once befriended the young outlaw.

LAST CALL FOR OPERATION PEE ON HUGO

If anyone has a pee mail to send to Hugo, please email it to our Mom at teresacampbellaz@aol.com by Sunday, August 17, 2008.

CANINE FILMS

TOP DOG WAS AN INSTANT CLASSIC AND THE BIGGEST HIT OF 1986 GROSSING OVER 180,000,000 BISCUITS

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE SIX

Hey everypups. Well, last night's show was OK. Nothing really spectacular. I really enjoyed the Dog Bone Challenge, though. Any challenge with food has got my vote. A barrier was set up to separate the dog from the food and the dog was timed on how fast he or she took to figure out how to reach the food. Bill and Star won the challenge with a smoking 8.3 seconds, now that's a dog that likes her chicken. But in return for Teresa and Leroy giving up first place to Bill and Star last week, Bill did the same and gave them the Dog Bone Suite. The next challenge was absolutely ridiculous and I can't wait to hear what Toby has to say about it. The challenge was art. The dogs had to paint a picture. Now it did look like fun rolling around in the paint, but come on, Rembrandt we ain't. Teresa and Leroy were top dogs and Laura and Preston were shown the Doggie Door. And if I didn't already dislike JD, I really do now. He is such a doggie's behind. Did you pups hear him when he said that he believes all of the other dog owners wished their dogs were just like his dog? What a pompous ass!!! JD really needs to go.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR


Well, I will agree with you about JD. Holy puppy poop!!! Just who does this jerk think he is? God's gift to dogs? I don't think so. Did you see him after he was picked as one of the bottom three at the art challenge? Poor Galaxy, just wanted to lick JD's face and offer a little support but JD scolded her. That's just not right. I was really hoping that he would be sent packing but after listening to Laura rat out Beth Joy and Bella Starlett, I was glad she was shown the Doggie Door. Just because her painting was the worst and she knew it, she decided to try and take out Beth Joy and portray her as an abusive owner. Bella Starlett did cry a bit when she had to wear the sponges on her paws but you should hear Norman whine when Mom trims his nails. Some dogs just don't like to have their little paws touched. Anyway, my pick of Bill and Star are still in it and as always Bill was a perfect gentlemen and Star, zipping through the Dog Bone Challenge the way she did was just pawsome.

KEIKO'S PICK - BILL AND STAR

GRRRR!!! First of all, Keiko, I don't whine. Second, I don't have little paws. Anyway, I agree with you about JD. Something's wrong with that boy. He seems to think that he's some bigtime dog trainer and walks around with his snout in the air. Nothing against Galaxy, I think that she's a pawsome dog, but JD really sucks. And I really don't know what the deal was with Laura ratting out Beth Joy. I know it's a competition but you gotta play fair and that was as bad as Laurie snitching out David and Elvis. But Travis shocked everyone and stood up for Beth Joy. I don't reckon he's gonna get Laura's phone number now, huh? And speaking of Travis, he and my boy Presley are still in it and are doing pretty good.

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

I guess we're all in agreement that JD is a doggie's behind. Someone should put him in his place. He came into this thing totally convince he was the next best thing to bacon. Well, he might be able to teach Galaxy lots of tricks but that is because she's a smart dog, not because he such a great trainer. JD is probably as bad as that Dog Whisperer Jerk, Cesar what's his butt. Anyway, the Dog Bone Challenge was great. I agree with Scuba, any challenge with food is always good. Travis and Presley did really well but Bill and Star were just too much to handle. You've got to hand it to Star, for such a mild-mannered pup, she's been tearing up the place. But I'll have to still go with my second pick of Travis and Presley. There's just a really pawsome bond between those two.

DUKE'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
DUKE'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY


What the hell is going on in the world today? I mean really, dogs painting? You're kidding right? That's not art. You want to see art? Just come over to the house and I can show you a backyard full of carefully dug holes spread out in a wonderful southwestern design which focuses on the natural beauty of the desert. Now that's art. Anyway, I'm still thinking that the show is rigged and the judges are still doggie's behinds. They'll probably give the trophy to JD the jerk. And you're right Duke, JD does remind me of the Dog Whisperer Jerk, Cesar what's his butt. As soon as OPERATION PEE ON HUGO is over, we'll have to put together OPERATION PEE ON JD THE JERK and give him the three legged salute.

SPACE CADET KEIKO

AFTER MANY YEARS OF TRAINING, SPACE CADET KEIKO FULFILLS HER LIFELONG DREAM OF CHASING TENNIS BALLS IN SPACE

NORMAN DREAMS

Norman von Richthofen,also known as The Red Dog Baron.
His daring and skill legendary, The Red Dog Baron was the top ace for the Canine Forces in World War Two, officially being credited for 80 victories over the much feared Fascist Felines

TOBY'S ADDICTION - PART TWO

Scuba's Diary - August 11, 2008
Weekly update on Toby's River Toad addiction. It seems that Toby is suffering from post-traumatic stress as a result of the unprovoked attack by the gopher snake and is turning to River Toads to deal with it. We found him behind the rock wall in the back yard with a couple of empty River Toads lying nearby. He said he was hiding from gopher snakes and wouldn't come out until they were all gone. Enough is enough, I called The River Toad Hotline (1-800-NOMORETOADS). The CANINE COUNSELOR (CC for short) on the line said we just need to be supportive of Toby and try to get him involved in a hobby to take his mind off the gopher snake and the River Toads. I mentioned Toby's project of 'OPERATION PEE ON HUGO' and was told that was an excellent hobby to keep him busy. The CC even volunteered to send in his best pee photo to help support the project.

HIDING FROM GOPHER SNAKES

OPERATION PEE ON HUGO

Toby's Diary, August 10, 2008.
The article written by Hugo Rifkind which questions the intelligence of dogs has really ticked me off. I know, I know, I shouldn't let the ignorant rant of a stupid human get to me but it does. I've been checking the rates from FedEx and I've found that it wouldn't cost much to send Hugo a gift. Scuba has been trying to talk me out of it saying that Karma will get Hugo in the end. I don't know much about Karma, but I'd like to get Hugo in the end and chomp a bit. If any of you leg-lifters out there want to send in your best leg-lifting photo, we can send it to Hugo. I'm gonna call it 'Operation Pee On Hugo' and we'll just let this human know how we really feel.

THE GOPHER SNAKE

Norman here, it was yet another exciting day at Life Inside The Fence, at least for us dogs. We had another crawly critter show up, a gopher snake with an attitude. Now normally we try to avoid crawly critters simply because of the one called Western Diamondback Rattlesnake, which is extremely venomous. But this gopher snake was freakin nuts. He nailed Toby on his rear left paw as Toby (believe it or not) was minding his own business sending Mom into hysterics and she ran screaming across the yard toward Toby totally convince that a rattler had gotten him. I’m not sure whether Toby was more freaked out by the snake or by Mom’s shrieking. Anyway, Toby tucked tail and bolted, hiding under the porch steps leaving me, Scuba and Keiko trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Finally Mom realized that it was a gopher snake and calmed down, but that was of little consolation to Toby who was quite content to remain beneath the steps thus avoiding both the crazy snake and crazy Mom.
Now this snake just didn’t want to leave. Mom’s pretty good at hooking them with the hoe and walking them down the road a bit but the snake just started acting all crazy, coiling and hissing, even striking at Mom (don’t worry, she’s smart enough not to get that close, I think). Eventually the snake did go under the house so we expect to see it again sometime soon. For more information on Gopher Snakes and how they benefit the environment, please visit the Desert USA web site.

THE EVIL CREATURE

TOP DOG SCUBA STEERS KEIKO AWAY FROM THE SNAKE

TOBY CONFRONTS HIS ATTACKER

UK JOURNALIST CLAIMS THAT DOGS ARE STUPID

TOBY SHOWS HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR HUGO

Hugo Rifkind, an idiot journalist for Times Online out of the UK has written an article with the title 'Just exactly how stupid are dogs?' Now this dog hater, who has obviously never spent any time with a dog, goes on to try and explain why dogs are stupid only to show his own ignorance with ever word. Dogs have saved countless lives, working as guide dogs, rescue dogs, sled dogs and cancer detecting dogs. On September 11, 2001, rescue dogs spent many hours at Ground Zero looking for survivors. And the list goes on and on. Dogs show more compassion and love than any human I know and would die to protect us (even Mr. Rifkind, sad to say) For such a educated human, Mr. Rifkind has really shown us who the stupid one really is. Please visit Hugo Rifkind and let him know that dogs are not the stupid ones and that his article is really out of line.

DOGGIE FLU

Woof, everypups, Scuba here. Couldn't sleep so I thought I'd jump on the computer this morning do a bit of surfing. I came across an interesting article posted on Pet Monologues concerning the doggie flu. Now, I like to think that I am an educated pup but I've never heard of the doggie flu. Apparently it has similar symptoms to Kennel Cough but can also include vomiting. Great, now everytime one of us coughs or vomits, Mom's gonna think it's the doggie flu. She's just so paranoid about everything. Anyway, if you pups are interested in finding out more on the doggie flu, visit Pet Monologues. By the way, Toby's been coughing a bit lately but I thought it was just those cigarettes he's been getting off of the neighborhood strays.

THE GREATEST AMERICAN DOG - EPISODE FIVE

Woof, everypups. Well, I've recovered from Ron and Tillman being so mercilessly tossed through the doggie door. Last night's show was a good one. I liked the Dog Bone Challenge which featured a mud pit beneath a balance beam the dogs had to cross, with the winner receiving letters and photos from home. Teresa and Leroy won but then gave first place to Bill and Star. It was very emotional for Bill reading his wife's letter and seeing the photos of his family. Star was a little more composed, she was just happy to be there. The last challenge was a dance competition where the teams had to coordinate a dance routine to different types of music. Laurie and Andrew were chosen as Best in Show with Brandy and Beacon being shown the doggie door.

SCUBA'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN ARE GONE
SCUBA'S SECOND PICK - BILL AND STAR

Yeah, I really enjoyed the show and I was glad that Teresa gave first place to Bill and Star. Bill seems like such a nice man and he treats Star really well. As far as the dance competition, I thought it was kind of cheesy and it was obvious that JD thought he and Galaxy should have won. He just gave Laurie a dirty look when she and Andrew were named Best in Show. But at least Brandy was booted off. I really feel sorry for Beacon having to put up with that screeching all of the time.

KEIKO'S PICK - BILL AND STAR

Perhaps we should organize a rescue mission and save poor Beacon. Anyway, I like the show but JD is really starting to really tick me off. When Galaxy fell off the beam into the mud JD didn't even look at him or pet him or anything. JD was so mad at his dog. That's just not right. Galaxy did the best he could, maybe we should rescue him as well. And the dance competition, well, someone should tell the shows creators that we're dogs, not Fred Astaire. I felt so sorry for Presley in his routine with Travis. Presley just gave Travis a 'I'm not gonna make a fool of myself for you or anybody' look and didn't really participate in the routine. But they're still my picks, I just hope the competition gets back to doing real dog stuff instead of this foo-foo poop they've been doing.

NORMAN'S PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

I agree with you, Norman. JD is turning into a dog's behind. He seems to think that he and Galaxy should be given first place in every event and that he is such a great dog trainer. Well, a great dog trainer wouldn't get mad at his dog when his dog gave a great effort. I really hope JD gets the boot next week. Anyway, the dance competition was just ridiculous, Norman's right, just let them be dogs. But at least Brandy was shown the doggie door. Poor Beacon, we really need to go save him. He doesn't listen to Brandy because he's deaf from all of that screaming that Brandy does. Let's see, does Toby have anything to add?

DUKE'S FIRST PICK - RON AND TILLMAN
DUKE'S SECOND PICK - TRAVIS AND PRESLEY

Yeah, the dance competition was really stupid and the judges are doggie behinds. For those pups out there who are interested, I'll be organizing a rescue mission to save Beacon from the evil witch Brandy and while we're at it, we might as well rescue Kenji, Ezzie and Galaxy too. And since I'm still boycotting the show, I'm not picking a winner cause the whole show is rigged.

TENNESSEE KEIKO

Keiko's Diary - August 6,2008

After much thought and encouragement from Mom and my packmates, I have decided to apply for a position at the University of Tennessee as a backup mascot to Smokey. And while traditionally Smokey has always been a bluetick hound, I am hoping that the 'blue' in heeler will be taken into consideration. As a young pup watching Smokey yipping and howling in the orange and white checkered board end zone in Neyland stadium, I began to dream of doing the same.

SMOKEY, READY FOR GAMEDAY.

KEIKO WEARING TENNESSEE ORANGE.

KEIKO SHOWS HER TEAM SPIRIT.


KEIKO'S DREAM, THE TRADEMARK ORANGE AND WHITE CHECKERED BOARD END ZONE OF THE TENNESSEE VOLUNTEER FOOTBALL TEAM, AWAITING THE MOST ANTICIPATED WORDS EVER TO BE UTTERED IN THE VOLUNTEER STATE,
IT'S
FOOTBALL
TIME
IN
TENNESSEE!!

INTERNATIONAL BONE RELAY

TEAM DESERT PUPS ARE PROUD TO REPRESENT THE STATE OF ARIZONA IN THE 2008 PAW-LIMPIC GAMES INTERNATIONAL BONE RELAY.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE PAW-LIMPIC GAMES AND TO SEE THE VIDEO OF ALL OF THE BONE RELAY PARTICIPANTS PLEASE VISIT OUR FRIEND LENNY.

MANY WOOFS AND HOWLS GO TO LENNY AND HIS FAMILY FOR ALL OF THEIR HARD WORK AND DEDICATION IN MAKING THIS POSSIBLE.

TOBY'S ADDICTION

Scuba’s Diary – August 4, 2008
Mom caught Toby with another Colorado River Toad last night after the rainstorm had past. Keiko, Norman and myself believe that he’s addicted to them. We tried telling Mom about Toby’s dependence on the River Toads but as usual, Mom refuses to see the bad in any dog.
"No," she says, in total denial. "It’s not an addiction."
We mentioned some of his erratic behavior such as mood swings, sticking his head into a hole in the ground or spending hours alone beneath the porch steps. I even pointed out his glassy, wild eyed expression but Mom just called it his happy look. Of course he’s happy, he’s been licking River Toads. Will update weekly on Toby’s problem.

TOBY'S HAPPY LOOK

DEATH'S BLOG

As our Mom is always encouraging us pups to keep up on our reading, we occasionally roam the Internet looking for reading material. We found this blog that is absolutely hilarious. "Mom," we said. "Come look at this blog, it’s about the everyday life of Death."
"Not funny," she says. "Death isn’t funny."
We tried to tell her it is now, but she wouldn’t listen. Finally Scuba had to sit at the computer and just start reading aloud. Soon we could hear Mom laughing and eventually she came and started reading Death’s Blog herself. In fact she ran us off of the computer and sat reading the blog and drinking beer for most of the evening. She even called our Aunt Sarah in Virginia to tell her about this great blog that she had found. Didn’t give us any credit whatsoever. But that’s OK as reading Death’s Blog put Mom in a really good mood and she gave us extra doggie biscuits. So if you're looking for an alternative to the average blog check out the everyday life of Death in Death's Blog, it's really funny, well written and very entertaining. We give it FOUR PAWS UP.

DOGS AND BIRD FEEDERS

This morning Mom hung a bird feeder in our favorite tree. Now we love our Mom, but clearly she isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Apparently she doesn't realize that while she's watching the birds peck at the feeder, thinking how sweet and pretty they are, this pack of dogs is thinking all you can eat buffet.